It may be Data Privacy Day today, but who cares, because nothing can stop TW London exhibiting the following non-secret cultural stats…

TODAY’S COMEDY CHOICES

Not Now, Bernard, Wilmington Arms, 28 Jan
Straying off the path of comical normality at tonight’s always-whimsical ‘Not Now, Bernard’ are “bonzer” comedienne Bec Hill, ThreeWeeks guest columnist Catie Wilkins – who’ll partner with Helen Arney – and metrosexual sketch quartet The Beta Males, who’ll all be reinterpreting much-loved children’s literature. Details and tickets here.

Simon Brodkin – Work In Progress, Downstairs at the King’s Head, 28 Jan
Character comic Simon Brodkin practises raising laughs as his various TV aliases, not least Doctor Bob and love-or-hate faux-‘chav’ Lee Nelson. Details and tickets here.

TODAY’S THEATRE CHOICES

In The Beginning Was The End, Somerset House, 28 Jan – 30 Mar (pictured)
Site-specific theatrical types dreamthinkspeak, a proven hit in 2004 via ‘Don’t Look Back’, are back with a large-scale new show inspired by Leonardo Da Vinci and ‘The Book Of Revelation’. They’ll plumb Somerset House’s dark sub-basement spaces to present a riveting, mechanised meld of film, installation and live performance. Details and tickets here.